Hey! It’s good to see you again.
I know it has been a little while since I have written anything. I’m sorry. Life happened to us, and we needed some time for ourselves. I’m sure you understand that.
I don’t want you to think that we have forgotten about our commitment to you to show up and bring you our best. That commitment is still holding strong in our hearts. However, some time was needed to evaluate our thoughts.
Commitment and Journey into the Past
During that time of self-exploration, I decided to go on a personal dive into the stories and media that have shaped me and moved my heart, looking for inspiration. I didn’t exactly know what I was looking for, but something deep within my subconscious commanded me to go down this rabbit hole.
I knew this journey would be bittersweet. After all, I am a sucker for stories that portray the human experience as it is; A messy clusterfuck of pushing, pulling, yelling, stumbling, crying, and eventually (hopefully) growing up to learn how to live with all that without hurting ourselves and others. I am always down for a learning experience. I love when I am challenged and forced to sit down to process uncomfortable emotions.
So, after a few days that felt like a wild roller coaster of emotions, I ended up finding what I needed; The 2016 theatrical adaptation of the manga A Silent Voice (聲の形 or Koe no Katachi).
If you haven’t seen this film, please do yourself a favor and watch it. I will spare you from any spoilers here, don’t worry. And don’t sleep on this one just because it is animated. This film will take you on a ride of emotions only the heavy hitters like Toy Story can emulate.
Messy Human Experience
I am bringing this film to your attention not just to make you want to watch it —although if you end up watching it, that is a win in my book, but to make a point. And that point is that sometimes we need to sit down and acknowledge that we are having a human experience. A messy, painful, dirty, and lonely experience that we all share with each other.
Sometimes we need a reminder that whatever we are feeling is true, valid, and worthy of acknowledgment. That we are all sharing this unique challenge that makes us flawed and who we are. And ultimately, that despite all that, we still deserve to treat ourselves and others with love, compassion, and understanding.
We deserve to love ourselves.
I know I needed that.
After months of hard work and sacrifices without any apparent results in sight, I was utterly spent. This journey can be exciting and nurturing, but it’s also very lonely and scary. Even if you’re enjoying the process of growth and creation and feel like you just have to put in the hours, you still have to pay bills, see the months pass, and wonder what are you going to do when life inevitably happens?
Doubt and self-hatred are not far ahead.
It’s All Part of the Experience
And so, with all these thoughts clouding my mind and taking a toll on my mindset, I needed to remind myself that it’s OK to be where we are. It’s OK to have doubts. It’s OK to feel the pulling, pushing, yelling, stumbling, crying, and all that. It’s OK to feel the human experience while you’re living and moving forward. But don’t ever forget to love yourself. Don’t forget that pain is part of living.
Pain is a beautiful reminder that there is something that you care about and deserves a space in your heart, which is asking you to acknowledge it.
So, I hope that you do, as I did.
We love you.
PS: This newsletter was challenging for me to write. I have been writing other stuff almost every day lately, but something about retaking the newsletter was just insurmountable for me. So I had to really push myself to get this one out.
I hope it becomes easy again, but even if it doesn’t, I will continue to struggle and bring you the best I can. I want you to know that we are fully committed to continuing to show up and do our best. We are committed to having this human experience.
We appreciate you being here with us.
Stay safe; Stay well.
We love you.
Cover photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash